Artist note: Thank you to everyone who has supported my work and taken time out of your busy day to read my letter. You help me feel confident pursuing my passion as a career. I hope you enjoy catching up with me.

August passing is a mixed bag—the end of summer and another year passing. Summer is great because you have the freedom to do anything and, therefore, feel rewarded for doing nothing.

Right now, though, I loathe the feeling of doing nothing. Despite working full time, there is a longing for purpose and creation that is difficult to grasp. The feeling is particularly frustrating given how close I am to returning to the space where I can create and feel purposeful. Compositions are in my head, and it feels like a physical part of my visual experience. Researching artists and exposing myself to new painting and literature have become so prevalent in my day-to-day life lately, and they are among the only things helping me keep my eye on the ball.

However, for at least a month, that wasn't the case. I was stuck in some of the worst burnout I have ever experienced. I could not see anything or make anything. Standing outside with my canvas, after two hours, the only thing completed was a burnt hole in it from staring at it for so long. Burnout is such a frustratingly fascinating state, because despite yearning to create anything, you cannot. It felt like blindness, even though I could see.

A break is much needed, and while it has been difficult not to make anything, I now feel revitalized. Being an artist requires a certain percentage of yourself to be active 24/7, whether physically creating or being in the headspace. That can take its toll if you do not know how to manage it. Luckily, other aspects of life can lower this percentage, so it isn't all-consuming and helps prevent burnout. In my case, I returned from a semester abroad focused only on painting and jumped right into new projects, overloaded myself, and blew a fuse, resulting in burnout.

While on a physical break from painting, I have kept listening to and reading interviews and lectures from a variety of painters. Sourcing new imagery from exhibitions and museums has also been very helpful. In particular, some inspiring exhibitions at the De Young in San Francisco and SFMOMA were a pleasure to experience. Sourcing new imagery and thought from other artists is refreshing and makes me excited to paint again once I return to the East Coast.

Transitioning to what I am currently working on: it has nothing to do with art in particular, but it is helpful in the long run. I have been learning how to code. As I've familiarized myself with these applications, I have begun experimenting and created my first project: my new website. This project has been rewarding because I fully own my website and no longer pay a hosting subscription. Learning a new skill has been fun, and these projects feel exciting.

Looking ahead, I feel enthusiastic about returning to campus and settling back into the studio. There is a lot to do with personal studio practice and student organization involvement. I'm also excited to say that I will be applying to graduate programs in the fall. I have decided I owe it to myself to try to make painting work, and this is the first major step I want to take.

I am excited to continue writing and keep you all updated. I hope you have enjoyed reading this letter. If you have any follow-up questions or suggestions for what else I should write about, please feel free to reach out.

All the best,
AJ E